I remember back when SerenaDante was trying to write to every -ish site about sex, whether it had to so with boobs on Mancouch or edible underwear on ireallylikefood, the one thing she couldn't really tackle was the correlation of sex and Autism or Asperger's syndrome. Not that she needed to.

I have Asperger’s, and I am also one of the very few (part-time) sex bloggers on Xanga. In the past, I had heard that some of them may not be as concerned with sex as the NTs. But I assumed that some of them were indeed sexual. I remember SerenaDante was wondering all about sex and Asperger’s. Sex is as physical as it is social, so, I thought I'd go on and investigate on the differences between NTs and Aspies on the idea of sex.

I was aware that one of the differences between Asperger's people, in terms of physical contact, is that some are either touchy feely to the point in not recognizing personal space (so, one would say) or some don't really like to be touched. So, I knew there was going to be an all-or-nothing difference. I read all different blogs about this. Life with Aspergers, a blogger site, explained that the main differences were that "on the one hand, there are the shy, prudish aspies who consider it a big deal to unbutton the top button on their shirt, or to wear shorts. At the other end of the scale, there are aspies who think nothing of nudity and aren't concerned who sees them." (“Teenage Sexuality and Aspergers”, Life with Aspergers, 2009)

If the attitude against people seeing themselves naked wasn’t enough of a clue, Squidoo discuss the visions. "Boys can become obsessed with Internet pornography and masturbation. They can be overly forward with a girl who is merely being kind, and then later face charges of stalking her. An Aspie teen may have a fully developed female body and no understanding of flirtation and non-verbal sexual cues, making her susceptible to harassment and even date rape," said one blog on Squidoo.

This whole article suggests that when young Aspergians do engage in anything sexual, it is mostly a selfish affair. "Many times, the sexual interests of Asperger's teenagers are one-sided and not reciprocal. They misunderstand the situation and act too intense and very inappropriately."

"It's not at all uncommon for aspies to develop sex obsessions, even without a partner. Most of these obsessions are perfectly safe behind closed doors but if they are even discussed openly, there could be social problems. Aspies have a tendency to say just a bit too much," said another Life With Asperger’s article.

I personally don’t know if every one of them applies to me, but I’ll share my point of view. I am the person who admits to loving either sex or talking about it every now and then. I thought this was simply because of my zodiac, but it turns out that heightened senses for those with Asperger’s could also be based upon the sensation of it. My way of trying to avoid saying too much about it is by keeping a spare blog, where I eventually write about anything, including sex, in poetry form or facts from it. It’s not just a blog about sex or sexuality, but it is also one of my major outlets in trying to express the sexuality I can't express out loud.

Yes, I am interested in relationships, but I admit to being slightly inept, when it comes to getting relationships. I love kissing, I love hugging, I like touching every now and then. As far as communication is concerned, I never know what to say, or what to expect. I can’t even give a steady conversation without wanting to simply kiss someone.

In real life, I approach getting laid or getting dates pretty conservatively. I ask people out like you are supposed to. Calm, collected, and sure of what you want (which is always to go out with a person). I am no stranger to the irritation that comes with never getting a relationship based on effort. I was raised to be more considerate amongst a woman...which hardly ever works out. The result in me asking someone real out is that, at the end of the day, it goes nowhere. I wind up on my own faster than you can imagine. Nowadays, I just approach love this way: let someone ask me out. Supposedly, for those with Asperger’s, it’s much easier to let them ask us out. This way, it feels like someone is really interested in (or just being nice to) us.

The being said, I guess the problem with Asperger’s has a lot to do with 1) whether you are in touch with your sexuality, 2) trying to find the right thing to say or right way to approach it, and 3) trying your hardest to approach you want, without saying too much.

Supposedly, some of the characteristics of autism is that we don't get along well in big crowds, sensitive to noise and are sometimes hugely introverted. No situation will prove that better than my first ever visit to a local nightclub.

Me and a friend were just playing around with instruments one day, until he decided that he wants to go out. By go out, he meant visit a nightclub. Now, I might not be such a party animal, but I thought it was time I got out of my shell for a bit. Not to mention that I 1) love getting out of the house for a while and 2) wanted something new to happen with me. So, we got money, took the train, bought ourselves a big can of Red Bull, and prepared for an all-nighter.

In a short amount of time, the friend proved much more social and comfortable with people than I was, from running a subtle line by a woman to testing a girl on how drunk she is on the train. I was impressed and amused.

After we got off the train, got our rainy day money and went to the front door and paid $20, the bouncer said we couldn't get in with the Red Bull. The Red Bulls we had weren't those small cans. We had the big ones, so we could get through the night. While my friend threw his away, I, not being one to waste a drink, opened up the can I was saving for the night and chugged the whole can of Red Bull in front of the bouncer in under a minute in a half, to which they were stunned and predicted a buzz. That was the only bit of fun I had, before things went kind of downhill from there.

As soon as we got into the nightclub, the lights that shone were so beautiful that I took a camera video of some of them. I found that this friend had some connections and some friends at the club. Being awkward around girls, all I did the whole night was say hello to his people and went at it alone.

He suggested we go to the top floor where everyone lose their inhibitions and let go. Who was I to argue? Maybe the buzz would kick in. It didn't really. I couldn't dance, I hated the music, and I wasn't very social. A girl wanted to dance with me, but in mere discomfort, I left her to dance with...let's call this friend A, shall we? He was worried about me, but I told him to go on ahead.

The whole time, when I was in the club, I spent all my time either on the love seat shooting lights (they bouncers probably didn't know I had a camera), finding solace in two of the public bathrooms, and just lying down drowning out the music with something better. I didn't have my iPod with me, but my head was always like my own personal radio. The most I could muster was bopping my head, if the song was good.

I was wondering when my inhibitions were going to be lost. After all, I was restless after chugging that Red Bull. (So much so that I couldn't sleep until probably 2 in the afternoon the next day.) But all I could think of was "I hate this place". I saw a girl so drunk that she fell over, panties in plain view. I convinced myself that in order to ever enjoy this place, I had to get drunk, too. I preferred to be so drunk that I forgot about the whole day. No dice; I bought like two bottles of VitaminWater.

My friend A knew I was not having fun, so he grabbed his girl friends, and we took a break and got out of the club, hoping to get back in. It wasn't until we went to the store and grabbed snacks that I started to open up and get to know them more.

I told him that maybe some other time, I'll be a little more open. But face it, I don't even dance when I have dance music on my iPod. So, I am clearly not a big fan of the atmosphere. Not to mention. using Top 40 songs got so cliche for a nightclub. Even if it left me and A walking around downtown very late at night (he wanted to get back in, but the bouncers said once you left, you can't get back in. That left us walking around a t midnight because the first ever train back home didn't come until 5:30 in the morning.), to tell you the truth, I was as glad to be out of the house, as I was glad I was out of there.

The funny part was that his friend who worked at the local Walgreens told us that the club we were visiting was the worst. My response was, "it's my first visit to a nightclub. I'm sure it won't make a difference."